Satire: Diary of a Lab Intern, Week One

Satire. Fictional characters and events, written for fun. Nothing here describes real results.

Monday

I was told to “weigh out the blue stuff.” There are two blue things. One is a copper-peptide complex. The other is a dye. I asked, which was a good call. I’m proud of me.

Tuesday

I discovered that peptide vials do not hold what the front says; the certificate of analysis does. I have never felt so grown up. See, for example, GHK-Cu, whose color tells you copper is present.

Wednesday

The freeze dryer made a noise. I did not do it. I told everyone I did not do it. It was a pump.

Thursday

I labeled my first vial with the date, concentration and my initials. My supervisor cried a little. A good kind of cry.

Friday

I learned that “just a little water” is not a volume. I have been given a pipette and a calculator and a very long look.

Next week

I will learn what “dead volume” means. I suspect it is not a metaphor. Keep reading the diary.

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For laboratory research use only. Not for human or veterinary use, and not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any condition. This article is educational and is not medical advice.