Satire: Notice From the Peptide Homeowners Association

Satire. Fictional characters and events, written for fun. Nothing here describes real results.

LYOPHILIZED ESTATES HOA, Monthly Update

Parking

Several nasal spray bottles have been parked at an angle. Please keep them upright; the pump needs a clean dip tube, and so do we. (Nasal MT1 10mg owners: yes, this includes you.)

Noise

A resident in Unit 15 (BPC-157) has been described as “very long.” We have received no formal complaint, only a tone of admiration.

Pets

Pets are allowed provided they weigh less than 5 kDa. Larger pets must register with the board.

Violations

• Unlabeled vial in the common freezer: first warning.
• Vial left on the dashboard: second warning, and a tone of disappointment.
• Eyeballing a dose: immediate referral to the Calculations Committee.

Next meeting

Tuesday at 7 pm. Snacks provided. Please do not bring any. Keep reading.

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For laboratory research use only. Not for human or veterinary use, and not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any condition. This article is educational and is not medical advice.